lifesabitch

the BANANA POWER!

2005-04-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

BANANAS can do WONDERS!!!

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6 and B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Those who CANNOT shit regularly try some bananas. bring it into the loo for more effectiveness. u'll experience the RESULTS instantly. take a look at the smoking part. its really cool. i didnt noe bananas can help smokers quit smoking. a banana a dae keeps the doc away. experiencing PMS these daes. dunno wad is happening to u? no fear. eat BANANA! stock up ur kitchen wif BANANAs while stock LAST!
oh yeah went to casper's illegal gambling den for mahjong session again yesterdae. wOOOOooo won 8 bucks. great i've gort money to buy some brownie ingredients. casper's the ULIMATE LOSER. LOSER LOSER!!! borrow seat's the BIG WINNER. dunno why but this is damn rare. kiat wee NEVER win MONEY! i hardly see casper lose money. or should i sae NEVER. better luck next time boy. casper's going to SRI LANKA. so sad. im not sad becos he's leaving us. =X its juz dat there will be no more mahjong sessions until the mid of may. dats like damn sad. no more income anymore! BOO. shall find some more illegal gambling dens i've got to live up to my name. MIN THE DU GUI!!

GENTALMAN EQUALS GENTS???

2005-04-18T02:00:00.000-07:00

i've lost touch wif the blogging world. so now im gonna "chong chu jiang hu". my blog is ALIVE!!!!
went sentosa yesterdae after a thousand years. the weather was sizzling hot. i can actually fry an egg at the top my my head. koh chek wai wanted to take a cable car in. however the fare was fare too ex. 12 bucks a person and all we get to see is the sea the sea and the sea. so really not worth it huh. its not like we haven take a cable car before. opps. i mean only CASPER KOH hasnt been on a cable car in his ENTIRE LIFE. sorrie boy dun blame us blame the govt. they set the living standards too high. now everything is so ex. even a ride to see nothing but the sea cost 12 buck. we den headed for the 2nd option. the bus ride. its much cheaper den the cable car ride. at least i get to see the road cars trees plants people etc. 3 bucks and i get to see more things. more value for money rite. and most importantly its BUDGET!!!! BUT the interchange was flooded wif pple. waited there for like 10 mins and no buses came. worst we were NOT IN QUEUE. great how clever are we. casper koh den came up wif a "brillant" idea. WALK TO SENTOSA!!!! walking is damn budget. cos we dun haf to pay a single cent. we only need to pay wif our sweat. by the time we reach i was already sweating like a pig. the first thing we step on tanjiong beach was to EAT!! v hungry i could swallow a cow. but im so kind. of cos i'll stick to bread and ham and tomatoe and cucumber and cheese and bake bean and mayo egg and smash potato and hotdogs and chips. alrite i juz named our lunch. all thanks to yuying von and me u guys had a sumptuous meal. next on the list. SABO TIME!!! i had great fun torturing yuying. -evil grins- we decorated yuying wif flour and tomatoe sause. sounds disgusting? yeah i think so too. but we are not the victim so y worrie rite? lOls. it really disgusting i muz comment. v sticky and the smell the colour mixed together. imagine. YUCKS! burying yuying was rather fun too. e bad part is im the cheap labour. WHY ME? transporting soft sand hard sand and water is a tiring job. damn tiring. now my arms are aching. dammit. the sea water is really dirty after yuying bathe herself in it. no wonder im itching all over. shit. finally CASPER allow us to bathe. but fark the toilet was flooded. not wif water but gers and woman. freak made us queue for almost an hr. had to squeeze in a cubical wif yuying n von. those horny bitches saw my everything. *sob* im being raped visually. "zhen wei qu" wanted to urine in the cubical but both horny bitches claim dat i was disgusting. hump! i dun wan let u all hear me urinating too. went for dinner next. i seriously need to go to the ladies. casper too needed to visit the GENTLEMAN! CASPER koh's language GENTLEMAN = GENTS. so peeps u guys learn something new todae. lOls. went to the musical fountain after dinner. woooo beautiful. technology is indeed amasing. took some pictures after dat. had an affair wif CASPER. *pukes* and the guys took some scandalous picture of us kissing? *vomits*
end of story! FULLS STOP!

the society HIGHLIGHTS our poverty

2005-04-11T03:22:00.000-07:00

DAMMIT!!!! no use feeling lucky. i still didnt strike 4D no matter how lucky i feel these daes. wasted my 2 bucks. i could haf gone to the toilet for 20 times at least its more useful. better luck next time.
haven been blogging for some time. missed me? nah guess no one will. went shopping for the past 2 daes. feeling damn shiok! im like a freed birdie. staying home makes me feel like im a "huang lian po" on the verge of "tou jie"- ing wif the society. dats wad i tot when von told me bout the increasing movie tickets entrance fee. i was like HUH? how come i dunno? for those mountain tortoises heres the latest updates: $6.50 increased to $7.00, $7.50 increase to $8.50, $8.50 increase to $9.50. fark them i really enjoy watching movies now the prices are shooting up so fast. faster den rockets can take off. how in the world am i gonna afford it? seriously we should consider immigrating. living standards is so bloody high in s'pore. how are we gonna survive? especially wif rotten results and so many competitons we'll be the one who vomits blood when all the bills are due. den the blood suckers come sucking our blood dry. and den end of story. dats the kind of pathetic life we will lead if the govt continues to increase and never decrease everything. fuck those rich ass.
alrite. im poor and outta job. but looks like god of wealth is indeed standing on my side. at least he's doing his job. dr sng called in earlier in the dae. asked me not to go for my interview tml. i was so afraid he'll ask me to help out at the clinic. but HENG it was something not quite expected. he offered me 50 bucks for every book i typed for him. actually he wanted to computerise all the patients' paticulars but didnt haf the time. so princess min gotta take up the royal assignment. according to him there's 20 books which i'll be entitled to a thousand bucks after i finish. 1000 dollars. WOO!!!! haven smell a hundred bucks in ages. now i've gort 10 100 bucks. hao shuang!!!
shall start work tml. if i succeed. koh chek wai and tham yuying's presents will be especially BIG!!! lols. for ur sake and my sake u guys gotta pray especially HARD!

3597 HUAT lahs

2005-04-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

AY 2004/2005 DECEMBER SEMESTER

Biochemistry 1 B
Biomedical Fundamentals B+
Technical Communication Skills 1 B+
Electronic Devices and Circuits C
Engineering Mathematics 2 D+
Problem-solving and Process Skills 2 Pass
Java Programming D
Introduction to Psychology C+

alrite folks dats my pathetic results. but still im v pleased wif myself. i PASSED MATHEMATICS. wooo hooo!!!! firstly i wan to thank my dad for his great sperm. next i wan to thank my mom for bearing such a genius like me. seriously for the pass 2 weeks im living in fear. the word PASSED never crossed my mind for mathematics. however, hard work paid off. all the late and sleepless nites all the totally stressed up daes and all the losing of appetite i suffered but im loving it.
juz alittle note to encourage nami CAS nami VON nami YING: hang on there pal. i noe exams sucks BIG time. but gif ur best shot and get over and done wif. REPEATING is not an option. strive hard, u guys can do it. after e nitemare we'll all CHIONG CHIONG CHIONG!!!!!!!!!!! till dat dae WORK HARD!!!
im so damn broke i've gotta find some ways out to earn some cash FAST! thus decided to pick some nums off the receipt dat mom and her frenz went lunch for. god of wealth pls visit jasmine lim ying ling. i miss u soooooooo much. 3597 HUAT LAHS!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys wif DIMPLES turn me ON!!!!

2005-04-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

peeps. if u haven catch house of fury do spare some time for it. 4 stars for the movie. stephen feng is so (to the power of infinity) cute. his dimples electrify me. im gonna marry someone wif dimples to ensure dat my kids haf it too. (juz kidding!! i wouldnt gif yaofeng up for 2 holes on the cheeks) =D
some interesting stuff to satisfy ur NEEDs:
This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?" The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding some statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another word, walked out of the class - and never returned. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."
hahahas. tot this was rather interesting. i didnt knew dat semen was actually sweet. morale of the story: ~~perform oral sex to confirm if this article is true~~ THINK before u SPEAK to minimise the risk of exploding ur SECRETs.

so cool yet so uncool

2005-04-06T00:55:00.000-07:00

never been happier. suddenly realise dat life is once again meaningful. dats all becos i get to see darling todae. (sorrie for the mushiness guys. try taming ur hair ends for awhile. i was again trying to start my entry) went out wif him todae after so long. FINALLY!!!! spent some quality time wif him. gossiping and luffing dats wad im best for. yaofeng: im not a 38 ok. juz trying to entertain u. and im trying extremely HARD!!!! watched so cool todae. the movie was totally uncool. it was suppose to be a comedy but hello i was hardly luffing and it was freezing coooolddd. the rating: 1/2 star. notice i didnt even gif a full star. so DUN WATCH!!!! dun even bother to buy the vcd. save time save electricity.
saw some magazines to kill time after the movie. BUDGET!!! everything FOC. im not trying to walk the auntie "lu xian" its juz dat my pocket has KABOOM!!! my bank has dried. my mom has declared bankrupt and there goes my allowance. so im officially BROKE. saddening!!! once i gort nothing but money. now i gort nothing but a whole bunch of RA-ed stuff to blog.
however due to bad response. so many pple calling me horny bitch. even my ex-lesbo yuying n buddy ah boi called me dat. *sob sob* i've decided not to share any more HOT AND JUICY TIPS!! i was juz trying to inject entertainment into ur boring and stressful lives. but saddening *shake head* apparently u are all not appreciating wad i've research for all of u.
P.S for those who are still interested can tag my blog i'll get back to u asap wif the HOTTEST AND JUICEST TIPS. =D~~

HOT and juicy tips........check it out!!!

2005-04-05T00:45:00.000-07:00

first time blogging outside home. how's my feeling? hmmm....... alrite im crapping. but todae no "ling gan" i dunno how to start my entry!!!
i ate PORK todae. yes pork. since im practising halal-ism i cant imagine i actually bow down to evil. but it was rather nice i muz comment. did not haf the typical pork smell which is *vomits*. the pepper crab was extra yumilicious. haven ate crab for like a zillion yrs. *droooolsssss*

SEX MOVE OF THE MONTH:
man stands against a wall, then brings woman's right leg over his left hip before entering her. to balance, woman props her foot against the wall.

LOLs!! dats wad i tot too when i first read this in the april 2005 FEMALE issue. gif it a try if u're really bored at home. summon ur partner to ur huse or if u haf too much money and no where to spend check in to a classy hotel room. they haf nicer ambience there and mayb more romantic. dun forget to thank me. i enhance ur lovemaking sessions. HAHAs!!
im not trying to set up a RA-ed bloggie here. juz tot it was interesting and i only wanted to SHARE. all feedback after trying on the move will be appreciated. =D

HAPPY BIRTHDAE BRO

2005-04-04T00:35:00.000-07:00

woke up at 11 plus todae despite sleeping at 5am yesterdae. oh boy i think im turning into an early bird. waking up everydae in the mornings when the weather is so bloody nice for sleeping. i think the alarm clock in my body's mad.
okies todae wasnt so boring although it was in the early part of the dae. suppose to go to work at 11am. but the dentist wife kimberly called yesterdae to ask me to take the dae off. *phew* tot she wanted me to work extra. went tampines mall later in the dae. my bro wanted to buy a new handphone. and im suppose to fork out the money. heart pain ar. all my ang bao money gone to the stupid starhub outlet. 200 bucks lo. but its okies i get to borrow the fone once in a while also and i pyscho my bro to buy the nokia 6170 which i tot was quite nice. DO NOT attempt to buy a new handfone at tampines mall on a sundae. the pple there like queue for free so so so so many pple. squeeze here and there until i sweat. worse they stone there like they bought the whole starhub outlet. i mean u cannot move to one side mehs? i was standing there and saying excuse me for like 10 sec and the bloody woman in yellow didnt hear me and when she finally did she gave me a face. fark her she's so bloody fat and deaf. saw elvin online juz now. was rather shock as he thinks dat internet is evil. he's a caveman actually. msg him immediately chatted awhile and asked him out tml. im juz giving him a chance to save a beauty from her meaningless days. dun agree? den close ur eyes and skip dat line lo cos im not gonna deny dat im not a beauty. lOls.
oh before i forget HAPPY BIRTHDAE bro!!! shall intro u more gers as a bdae present cos i running outta budget!!! dun sae ur sister me no good.
i love my bloggie song..............wu ke qun - wu ke qun *yawns*

i LOVE kids

2005-04-03T03:02:00.000-07:00

wanted to go and sleep but blogging is so tempting. lure me outta the bed. see wad i mean by blogging is evil. yvonne tan u evil shit u demand me to blog look now.... im loving it. HAHA!!
went to my ah kim's huse in da late evenings was really looking forward cos baby shawn will be there. hmmm...he's not really a baby i suppose. 15 months. toddler? heard dat he could walk already. wow damn cool. how fast can babies grow man. the last time i saw him he could hardly stand. he's really cute looking and he loves to watch barney. i drew him a piggy todae and taught him how to draw todae. but apparently he doesnt appreciate my drawings he drew lines all over the pig. bOO!!! but all was forgiven when he looked up and smile at me. i totally melt. oh i played mummy todae. shawn was watching barney and i was sitting beside him. den my mom commented dat he looked tired. so i took his mini booster and a beanie kola bear for him to hug and allow him to lie on my laps den i pat him to sleep. hey im extremely successful alrite. he slept within 15 mins. ku bi le!!! lOls. its so fun having a kid at home. wished i had one too. mayb i should add dat to my wish list. a baby boy? yaofeng wanna help me wif dat? try helping me fufill my wish? lOls. shall do some family planning wif u some dae. some dae............

bye bye meaningless daes

2005-04-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

1030 in the morning. hmmm... wonder y im online at this time. the weather's so nice and cooling i should really be in bed cuddle up wif baby taz but...... dunno y i really cant get to sleep these daes. troubles? worries? insomia? or am i simply becoming too old?
hahas i bet ah boi's screaming her heads off inside. woke up todae and the weather was not as fantastic as yesterdae. outta this whole week i think yesterdae's weather was the best. not really bright and sunny but im loving it cos i hate the sun anyway. it blackens my skin. and i totally HATE it. anyway ice skating was still as fun. although it was a little coOoold in there and my skating skills sucks (hey its not really my fault my last skating session was in sec 1), i still had tons of fun. fell down once but again its not really my fault. yaofeng pulled me too fast and i lost my balance. he did tried his best to catch me but gravity won. all thanks to boi ar pple fall still luff her head's off. nv help still luff. evil. had some good luff when jason and ben fell continously for a few times. and of cos the clumsy mei jieying. HAHAHA!!! oppps~ regarding her WHITE bdae can take a look at ah boi's bloggie cos she confirm emphasize on dat. save my trouble and ur time rite.
headed to lycos house after dat. wOoo his dogs were cute especially prince. i really liked his ears, curly and v nice to play wif. rocky wasnt that bad, apart dat he's a little horny. lycos: mayb u should buy them a bitch. rocky is turning gay. i really pity prince. went mahjonging session next followed by blackjack and den tai dee. lost a dollar. but its okies a dollar in exchange for a fun filling day. value for MONEY!!! had to go home by cab. *piang* heart pain so ex. im already so so so broke. yaofeng: im still waiting for u to gif me my jia yong.
FIRST time in the week, went out for more den 3 hrs and a place outside sengkang. pathetic yeah? boi: hope u had loads of fun yesterdae juz like how i did. =)
P.S for couples who wan to "chu jing gan qing" go ice skating........u'll feel extremely LOVED
dats how i felt, thanks darling. ^^)

grand opening =P

2005-04-01T01:42:00.000-08:00

woooo this is real fun!!!! my first time ever blogging. so addictive i even sacrifice my sleep juz to get everything done. weird dat i tot blogging was evil in the past. now im totally brainwashed, blogging's really cool. but boo how come there are errors??? some java thingy. someone pls HELP me i noe nuts about java *tears hair*

von helped me loads with the stuffs around here. a BIG thankie to u lesbo. although she should be buried in her books at this time of the week but ..... anyways im juz important to u lahs "ni fei bang wo bu ke" this is also a good excuse to examine u from ur books rite? mayb u should thank me instead yeah? buy me mango snowshake will do lahs. im quite addicted to it all thanks to u asking me down everydae to spend all my hard earn money away. evil
alrite next will be BIRTHDAE ger ah boi. sorrie for bugging u to help me think of a nice bloggie name. although i didnt use any of it. lOls. but still thanks pal. exams over already im giving u something to do juz in case ur brain go rusty. no need to thank me "ju shou zhi lau ba le". grins~ oh ya HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO U HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO YOoou HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO YOoou!! may ur airport grow bigger.................... happy APRIL's FOOL. hahas. sorrie no offence i only tot of making my blog more entertaining. xin ku ni le!
lastly cas thanks for giving comments on the blogskin and commenting dat i haf a toot bloggie name. realli thanks ar. i suggest u use http://mybitchishorny.blogspot.com for ur blog. cool name. yoyo will love u to death. mahjong some other day k. only u can bring sunshine to my meaningless life. HUAT LAH!!!

i swear i wasnt trying to write an essay. introduction is alwaes boring..........so it isnt my fault!